it was like his penis was on wheels.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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