I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
