Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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