dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
