we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
