capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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