The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
