He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
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Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
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I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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