I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
