last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize