Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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