i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
