Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
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M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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