I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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