so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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