Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize