To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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