im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
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I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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