I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
