when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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