Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
