it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
