i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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