She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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