Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
