I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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