Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
