I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
