wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
