After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
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after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
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You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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