you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
