I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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