he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
