I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dignity is for republicans.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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