I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize