i don't like sucking hair
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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