I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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