He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There r osticjed everywhere
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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