So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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