you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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