Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
