so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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