awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I would fuck him just for his dog
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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