literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
