people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
