False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
