1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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