Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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