I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
