U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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