well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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