i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
