i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
