Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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