The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
