Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
