I think i sorta joined a cult last night
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
