Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
