So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
