yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
