Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
it's like iHOP with fire
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
