it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
