this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I am naked and annoyed.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
