is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
