So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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