honey bunches of taint.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
