erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
