Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
