Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
