Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
