well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize