Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
